there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
