its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
