thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
