It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize