I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
