Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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