I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Apparently you make a good broom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
