Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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