dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
