All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize