i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
