My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
