doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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