Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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