I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
