And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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