STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im six kinds of drunk right now
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
