I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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