Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm really busy with my period
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