Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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