After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
