I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
