The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
