trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
