Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
