hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
