you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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