I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
