i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
