He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
