im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
