I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
