how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
