I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
