theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she peed on how many people?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
