Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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