She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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