Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
