I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
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