When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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