no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
