come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
