meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
