Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
