My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
please come you make the beer taste better
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
