Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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