Me too!
Nicole vs. Life
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
