You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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