I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
