So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
