I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
