Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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