You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
