Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
