I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
