my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
