Soap is not a condiment
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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