Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
