Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
