The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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