You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
