No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize